Away!

Well, Hello all!

Yes, it has been months since I have last written. Well, I have my reasons, some of them being, I haven't had time (whoever made the 24-hour-day, didn't realize that it wasn't enough time in a day. Pity they aren't alive now to see for themselves) anyway, and the biggest reason is simply because I haven't had anything to write. I mean, I had topics, but I always felt like I really didn't want the whole world to know, or they already did (you see, I have this theory, that if you have a problem with something, and the more people you talk to about it, the better you feel. So when I had a problem, the whole world knew....is this unusual?? lol). Anyway, then, tonight, I was being really bored, and trying to see if I had the guts to try and learn something new, without help, and I had the STRANGEST urge to write. So here I am. Writing for the first time in forever and it actually feels like it's time again. I guess I just needed a break?? lol Maybe..

So, with my life, lately, I have been going through some pretty wonderful stuff (please note sarcasm.) and me thinks that is why I haven't written. I find that when I write, it makes me look at things more logically and I get through my thoughts better. Only I haven't been writing since, oh about early Aug. And, to be honest (this is always a good thing.) that is probably when things started...

Lets see, in the month of August, I had several things happen to me, and I can even list them..lol

1). My best friend got into TONS of trouble-uh oh.

2). My sis and I and some other people, the next week, got into TONS of trouble...bigger uh oh.

3). My best friend stops talking to me. crack! (yes, that was my heart)

4). I start grade 12 and find out that I have one friend in my school. wow. I'm impressed.

5). Then, through out this whole time, I have the regular fights, nasty attitudes, speeding tickets and other fun things.

So, August wasn't much fun, and come to think of it, neither was September. Oh dear. Now what? Good question. If you have an answer, please let me know...lol

I have spent several hours, days, and several days worrying, praying, talking and getting mad (which, while it doesn't solve a thing, if you are in trust worthy company, helps) while trying to sort myself out. Now, I feel like I can't do anything about anything, except control myself....on occasion. And that doesn't particularly sit well with me.

And, right now, nothing has changed, I still have things to do, not enough time, problems that are on my head, and people to....deal with. But inside me, I think something is happening. Something is stirring and maybe will come to light soon. But something is different in maybe my heart? hmm.

You know, actually you don't, but before, I felt awkward trying to write a blog post, and now, I don't, so I think that is the biggest thing. (I guess when one's best friend quits that role, then self confidence goes WAYY down.) And, another thing, since I don't have one anymore, I have started to think about God being the one and True Best Friend. And, I don't really think people can say that, unless they have experienced a loss that causes them to turn back to God as the most reliable friend of all. And maybe that's why I have had to go through that loss, to realize that God is good.

Hmm, thinking and writing at the same time causes a very confusing blog post. Oh well, I'm sure you can figure it out. :)

ANyway, I'm going to depart to my bed and let you read this. Have a good night, God bless and remember to smile and laugh. Because the Lord is AMAZING!

-J